No. 10: The Marriage Institution
August 13th 2008 18:19
Enjoying the ride
Most everything I will be saying is common sense when one thinks about it--only it is not spelled out to us, except in textbooks. No such books are being used for today's message. Please read on...
Whether or not you believe the story of Adam and Eve is literal, surely we all recognize the reasons societies around the globe, and throughout history, have adapted the institution of marriage for harmony and cohesion.
The image of a caveman pulling his desired by the hair, while wielding a club, is ingrained into our heads. This depiction has done more harm than good, but it also suggests the possessive character of all humankind. This individual possessive need is the root cause for most societies' marriage necessity. Without the marriage institution, society could fall into chaos.
Jealousy, envy, competition, hormones, unbalanced power, hatred and love all dictate an additional need to avoid conflicts and promote harmony within a group. When two people feel the desire and need to be with one another all of the time, then society needs to have a way to protect that which is jointly owned by the two. Otherwise, there is an inherent body of crooks and scoundrels ready to leap and take advantage of the weaker partner.
Until recent times, one person usually earned every family member's living outside the home, or on the farm The remaing spouse, in turn, helped with domestic chores such as raising the children. The most efficient way to protect the possessive rights of the spouse and children was making the union a legal entity. This way a documented trail could be created and tracked to retain ownership by both parties. The trail was originally on clay tablets, then papyrus and now paper and computer.
When divorce or death come about, there must be a way to disburse the assets to the rightful owners and heirs without overdue disruption and disharmony.
Courts, judges and attorneys have found a niche in aiding society in these matters. Most of the time, they work well. Some of the time, however, they impede by shaking the pendulum out too far and throwing justice out of balance. This may be done when one partner seeks to benefit disproportionately from the other or one heir tries to override all others' rights.. Thus the need for wills and divorce decrees.
We have all heard some say, "It is only a piece of paper," indicating their lack of allegiance to the tradition and law.
Each person's commitment to the marriage institution is not only personal but affects the harmony of all society. When we take an oath to honor and love "until death do us part," in front of witnesses and our Creator, might we all be well advised to keep this oath in mind?
Whether our nuptuals were civil or religious, we stated to all mankind that we intended to love and intimately exist with this other person. One fact of nature is that all things WILL change. We can change as we grow together with our loved one, or we can change and grow apart. Growing together is the professed goal. In the United States this happens only about half of the time.
When two people grow apart to the extreme, then divorce may be the only solution. But it should be considered only in cases of irreconcilable differences, or verbal and/or physical abuse. Otherwise, all efforts should be to grow together. Sounds noble, I know, but is unfortunately, not always the case.
In conclusion, perhaps we should all try to respect marriage as a legal bond between two people designed to promote individual and social harmony. It has been around for millenia and served us well. Perhaps we should honor it even more.
Our next post will be on ways to help two people grow together. Until then, keep it between the lines...
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Comment by katyzzz
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If something requires too much thought and argument, in so simple a venue as a blog, I tend to opt out.
Suffice it to say, I have left my comment and my votes.
Comment by Anonymous
Marriage is under attack in many parts of the world. Many people choose not to give it "much thought and argument."
Maybe it is time someone defended it for all that it can be. It seems some take it too lightly.
Edward Allen
Comment by katyzzz
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Good luck with all your efforts.
Comment by Anonymous
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I agree with you all the way.
My wife and I have been blessed with over 40 years of marriage. I talk about some of the reasons we credit this in the next post. Perhaps it will be of help to some.
In no way, however, will it be to boast. Life just is not so predictable that we can all share the same experiences in unison. Therefore, some will find happiness and some, unfortunately, will not. All we can do is give it our best efforts.
E.A.